英语话剧剧本:英语搞笑小品剧本

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Characters: Narrator(N), Salesman(S), Dad(D), Maggie(M), Alice(A), Candy(C), Policeman(P)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

Preparation: 学校布景,做糖果用桌及相关材料,小贩家布景xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

Scene1(At Salesman’s home)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman. He always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students. He has a lot of money now. But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu …… He is coming!xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

S: Hello, do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell you .I’m the famous candy salesman at the school gate. My candies are very popular,(展示),I don’t know why. The foolish students always come here. I’ll be a boss soon! Candy, money, candy, money……xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

Oops! It’s time to make candies now.(看表)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

First, put the flour on the table.xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

Then, water, sugar, flour.(边说边做)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

Now press, press……xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

Oh, my dirty hands! Never mind! Just do it!(满不在意的神情)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

Press, press……xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

Oh, my god!(鼻涕)Never mind! Just do it!xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

Press, press, the children will not know it , it’s OK,hehehe……xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

Now let me cut it into pieces!xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

One, two, three, four, five……(用脏菜刀)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

Wow, everything is ready!xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

糖果钻出来(跳舞),跳完后,非常难过地说:Oh, I’m so dirty and ugly! What can I do? The students will eat me! And they will be ill! Wuwuwu…xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

S: Mmmm…It looks dirty, let me give you a nice coat! (给它穿上) Wow! Now it’s so beautiful! Haha……xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

C: Oh, no! Don’t sell me! I’m dirty!(拖糖果下场)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

Scene2(At the school gate)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

N: The next day, when the class is over, all the students come out happily and the salesman goes to the school gate as usual. (Maggie和Alice 欢快地跑出校门,看到小贩)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

(小贩拉着糖上场,吆喝):Candies! Candies! Sweet candies! ……xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

M: Oh, Alice! Look! Candies!xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

A: Yeah! I think they are yummy!xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

M: Let’s ask him.xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

A: OK!xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

C: Don’t buy me!(非常焦急)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

M&A: Why?xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

C: I’m dirty!xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

M: No, you look nice!xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

C: What can I do? (面向观众) Wuwuwu…(小贩将她拉在后面)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

S: Candies! Candies!(引诱两个女孩)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

M&A: How much are they?xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

S: Do you have money?(轻蔑)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

M&A: Money?(对视)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

M:Oh, I’ve no money!(失落之极)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

A: Me too.xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

S: No money? So sorry!(吆喝着走开,下场)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

M: What can we do now?xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

A: Let’s ask dad for money.xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

M: But how to ask?xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

A: How?…Oh,I know ,let’s make him happy ,and he will give us money.(自信)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

M: Good idea!(全部下场)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

Scene 3:(At Maggie’s home)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

N: The children have to go home and ask dad for some money, and they know their father is good at playing guitar, so they will do something clever. (爸爸看报)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

M: Dad,dad,let’s sing a song ,OK? (同时Alice去取吉他准备拿给爸爸)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

A: And play the guitar for us!xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

M: We know you play so well!xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

(爸爸诧异地看着孩子)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

D: Oh? What a bright day today!xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

M&A: Please, dad!(哀求)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

D:OKOK! Let’s.xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

(取吉他,开始准备)D: Which song do you like? How about Edelweiss?xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

M&A: Of course!xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

(开始弹,第一段孩子随节奏起舞,第二段孩子开始轻声讨论起来“you first”之类的话,爸爸停止弹琴。)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

D: What’s the matter?xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

M: Dad, we have no money!xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

A: Can we have some please?xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

D: I think you have lots of pocket money ,and you don’t need any more.xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

M:I want to buy some candies at the school gate.xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

A: They look so sweet and nice!xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

#In263.ComM: Other students always buy them!xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

D: But……You can’t ! They are quite unhealthy. Please go and do your homework..(置之不理,转头看报,孩子回到房间)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

M: What shall we do now?xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

A: Let me think …well, I know!(轻声在Maggie耳边说)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

M: Oh, you are so clever! Let’s go.(回到爸爸身边)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

M: Dad, I want a new eraser!xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

A: I want a longer ruler!xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

M&A: Dad, please!xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

D: Things are expensive these days. We have to save money!xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

M: But dad, my eraser is too small now!(拿出破橡皮来给爸爸看)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

A: And my ruler is broken.(拿出断尺)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

D: OK, children. I believe you this time, make sure, don’t buy the food at the school gate. It’s unhealthy! Do you know?xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

M&A: Yes, sir!xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

D: Here you are !( 给钱)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

M&A: Thanks very much, dad! Bye!(非常高兴,下场)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

N: The next day, when the class is over ,Maggie and Alice come to the salesman again. They are happy to buy the candies and then have them, but soon they feel a stomachache.xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

(孩子高兴地买了糖,边吃边回家,小贩下场,孩子到家后肚子痛)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

M: Aiyo!……(两人躬着背进场)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

A: …….xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

D: What’s wrong?xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

M: I’ve a stomachache!xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

A: Me too!xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

D: What did you eat? The food at the school gate?xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

M: Yes. We had some candies just now.xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

A: I had some too!xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

D: Oh! You’ve cheated me! You bought the candies instead of the eraser and ruler. I always tell you that don’t buy the food at the school gate, they are unhealthy!(生气)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

M: But they look nice!xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

A: And tastes good!xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

M&A: Aiyo……xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

D:Well, Let’s go to the salesman together and have a look!xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

M&A: OK.xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

Scene 4: (At the school gate)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

N: When they get to the school gate, a policeman is asking the salesman to go away.xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

(正走到校门口,发现警察驱赶校门口的小贩)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

P: Hey! You shouldn’t stay here, leave now!xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

C: Let’s go home, let’s go home! (轻声并拉小贩)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

S: No! My candies are nice and popular here! And…xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

C: You are telling a lie! I’m very dirty and unhealthy!xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

M&A: Dad, it’s him! Aiyo…(指着小贩)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

D: He?xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

(警察走过来问爸爸,朝小孩)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

P: What’s the matter with them?xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

D: They got a stomachache after having his candies.xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

S: Really? But I’ve never heard of it. And……xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

P: Stop, stop!(打断小贩) Look at the two girls! Are you guilty? You must be honest with the students, and don’t sell candies any more.(非常严厉)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

S: OK. I know. (羞愧)xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

C: Let’s go home. Let’s go home.xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

Policeman(对小孩): Girls, please listen! Don’t buy the candies next time. They are bad for your health.xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

D: Yes, he is right. And you shouldn’t tell a lie to me. Try to be an honest person! Will you?xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

M&A: OK, dad!xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

P: Let’s take them to the hospital now.xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

D: OK, Let’s go.xrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

N(出场): A few days later, the girls recovered. And this story is trying to tell you that some of the phenomenon must be kept down, we hope it could be improved soon. What’s more, we also hope students themselves can be honest and all the salesmen can be honest as wellxrM小品剧本_相声剧本_搞笑年会小品剧本大全_相声小品剧本之家

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